Thursday, June 30, 2005

Trip to the Doctor

(Ed. note: this isn't a very meaty post - just some observations from my trip to the neighborhood clinic today)

I went to the doctor to get his opinion on my unexplained nausea (he didn't have much of one). While I was waiting to get in, I was forced to listen to this lady on a cell phone.

Now, I've read lots of people's posts about the evils of using a cell phone in a quiet or confined space, and how no one wants to hear the conversation, and I'm not trying to copy them. It usually doesn't bother me. This conversation, however, was very unique in its annoyance.

First of all, this lady was not able to leave the building for the call. She was very large. (At 240 lbs, I'm not a small guy, but I was the least overweight patient in the waiting room.) Plus, she was wearing some sort of temporary ankle braces/splints that looked like they made walking impossible. She also seemed to be having a hard time holding up her head, so her chin was down near her collarbone.

This position apparently made talking difficult, so she had to repeat everything she said at least once.

"Where you at? .... WHERE YOU AT?"
"I'm at the doctor ... I'M AT THE DOCTOR"
"Who are you with? ... WHO ARE YOU WITH? ... What?"
"Do you love grandma? ... DO YOU LOVE GRANDMA?"

This went on for several minutes until I heard:

"OK, bye ... BYE"

I thought I was off the hook, but she immediately dialed another number.

"What are you doin'? ... WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?"

Then, I heard the weirdest phone conversation line ever:

"I remember when you pissed on my tree ... YOU PISSED ON MY TREE ... WHEN YOU WERE 21"

"I'll come over and piss in your yard sometime ... I'LL PISS IN YOUR YARD"

Sure, she couldn't really leave the room, but she didn't really have to make the call at all.


After the doctor visit, I went to the drugstore. In line at the checkout, I was serenaded by a mock dear head on the wall that was singing 'LaGrange' by ZZ-Top.

"You must have been wild, in that Texas town ... but now I might be mistaken, uh huh huh huh huh"