Tuesday, September 28, 2004

If You Can't Read This, I Have Pie

I'm bothered by little things that shouldn't be noticed, such as...

People who use "if" along with an unrelated fact.

"If you want to buy a drink, they're $3.95" (Actually, the drink is the same price whether or not I wish to buy one.)

"If anyone needs me, I'll be out of town" (Which means if no one needs her, she'll have to stay home.)

Try this instead:

"Those who would like a drink can buy one for $3.95"
"I'll be out of town this weekend"
"If you want spontaneous monkeysex, see me after class"

Just trying to help.

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