Tuesday, September 28, 2004
If You Can't Read This, I Have Pie
I'm bothered by little things that shouldn't be noticed, such as...
People who use "if" along with an unrelated fact.
"If you want to buy a drink, they're $3.95" (Actually, the drink is the same price whether or not I wish to buy one.)
"If anyone needs me, I'll be out of town" (Which means if no one needs her, she'll have to stay home.)
Try this instead:
"Those who would like a drink can buy one for $3.95"
"I'll be out of town this weekend"
"If you want spontaneous monkeysex, see me after class"
Just trying to help.
People who use "if" along with an unrelated fact.
"If you want to buy a drink, they're $3.95" (Actually, the drink is the same price whether or not I wish to buy one.)
"If anyone needs me, I'll be out of town" (Which means if no one needs her, she'll have to stay home.)
Try this instead:
"Those who would like a drink can buy one for $3.95"
"I'll be out of town this weekend"
"If you want spontaneous monkeysex, see me after class"
Just trying to help.
